Log in

No account? Create an account
like the sun was in my eyes and now i'm running blind
Recent Entries 
15th-Sep-2015 12:26 am - Life Found A Way - Chapter 2
Name: Life Found A Way
Author: Natalie (twins1729)
Rating: PG (Story NC-17)
Pairing(s): Alan/Billy
Characters: Alan, Billy, Ellie
Word Count: 2007
Summary: Alan and Billy meet in Montana in the summer of 1994. This is their story.

Well, the good news was that Billy was doing an excellent job helping out on the dig. Sure he was mostly doing lackey work, but he didn’t expect much else. He hadn’t even started school yet and was content just being in Montana, working along side Dr. Grant. This was literally a dream come true.

Dr. Grant seemed to have taken a particular shine to him, and he was thrilled. He would see him barking orders to the most experienced students and volunteers, only to go back to into the tent where Billy was working and offer to grab him a snack or a drink.

This did not help with Billy’s inappropriate crush on him at all.

However, the bad news was that after being there for only three weeks; the dig was ready to pack up for the season.

Sure, he knew it was coming and he was excited to start college, but he was understandably nervous. What if, after tomorrow, he would never be able to work this close with Dr. Grant again? He scolded himself for joining the dig so early. His admissions advisor had told him that he should wait until he at least got his associates degree. Why wait though? He wanted to do this every summer until he got his PhD.

Billy was ambitious.

After a long day of packing up most of the fossils and equipment and sending it on their way, along with half of the crew, Billy was wiped. He was sitting in an old lawn chair, next to a dying fire. He was thinking about starting school and dreading the move into his dorm, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“How’s it going, Billy?” Dr. Grant asked him quietly.

Billy felt himself blush immediately. He usually tried not to let Dr. Grant’s presence affect him, but it was dark out, so it would hide face.

“It’s going great, Dr. Grant. Just thinking about starting school next week.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” Dr. Grant took his hand off Billy’s shoulder and walked around him.

“Thanks. I’m really looking forward to all my classes. I’m just nervous about starting from scratch in a new place.”

“Hey, if you need anything, my office is always open.”

Billy looked up at Dr. Grant and smiled, “I really appreciate that. I hope you know I’ll probably take you up on that offer.”

Dr. Grant nodded his head and began to walk back in the direction he came. “Get some sleep, Billy,” he said as he passed by him and continued without looking back.

Billy sat for another few minutes and composed himself. Why was Dr. Grant being so nice to him? Sure he was respectful, honest, and followed all of the rules without question, but it still seemed as though there was something different about the way he was treated. Or maybe he was just looking too much into it.

Sighing, he stood up and made sure the fire was almost out before walking to his tent. It didn’t matter. He knew he was doomed the moment he decided to attend the University Dr. Grant was associated with. The man could do no wrong in his eyes.


As soon as his trailer door was shut behind him, Alan began unbuttoning his shirt. He needed to be quick about taking his shower and getting to bed. The earlier he woke up, the earlier he could go home and have a few days to himself before classes began. He wondered if Ellie was going to show up before then. She was supposed to be home two weeks ago, but she kept delaying her return.

Alan finished undressing and stepped into the shower, still thinking about Ellie. Usually thoughts of her brought a smile to his face, but now they only made him sad and uncomfortable. He felt as though she couldn’t stand to be around him. Obviously she would deny this, saying that it was the work she was avoiding.

“I do miss her,” Alan said to himself out loud. He wanted himself to hear it. Sometimes he felt as though she would have returned already if he would have been more assertive in asking her to come back.

Thinking about Ellie was beginning to ruin his otherwise good mood, so he purposely changed his thoughts as he was preparing for bed. He thought about the day and what they would need to finish cleaning up tomorrow.

Eventually his thoughts drifted to Billy and Alan smiled as he thought about the young man. He was so enthusiastic and helpful. Sometimes he would finish a task an older student had given him so quickly that he would end up following Alan around, looking for something to do. Alan thought it was extremely adorable. Billy was adorable in general.

Alan’s smile grew as he thought about how all the new students were usually terrified of him, but not Billy. He surprised himself in allowing Billy to be around him as much as he did. He couldn’t say no to him. The second Billy would walk up to him and almost pout about how he had nothing to do, and Alan would give in. Those brown eyes with those long eyelashes were his downfall. He wondered if Billy would have this affect on him in future…

“Whoa, whoa!” Alan gasped and sat up in bed. Why in the hell was he thinking about Billy pouting? Why was he thinking about Billy’s eyes? He hadn’t had a crush on another guy in years, and when he did, they were his age.

“Okay,” Alan told himself, “Stop this right now. You don’t need to be thinking about a student like this.”

Alan quickly reached for his bottle of prescription sleeping pills. He usually didn’t take them when he wasn’t experiencing nightmares, but he knew he wouldn’t get sleep otherwise. After swallowing the medication with a drink of water, Alan lied back in his bed and attempted to get comfortable.

I need to stop thinking about Billy. This could be trouble.’

That was the last thought he had before sleep finally welcomed him.


Billy woke up early the next morning and had a quick breakfast from what was left of the food. The remaining students were already tearing down the rest of the tents and Billy walked to join them.

“Where’s Dr. Grant?” An older girl that Billy didn’t know asked.

“I don’t know,” another student replied. Billy couldn’t remember his name.

“If he’s still in his trailer, he’ll be grouchy when he comes out. That usually means he’s overslept because of nightmares.” This was Sandy. She seemed to know Dr. Grant a little better than the others.

The students didn’t question her. They knew better than to be around Dr. Grant when he was upset and to definitely not ask about nightmares. Billy wanted to further ask about their experiences with Dr. Grant’s nightmares, but he knew the rules about gossiping.

About 20 minutes later, Dr. Grant finally walked out of his trailer, the fedora perched low on his head was successfully hiding his face. Billy watched intently as he walked over to half-torn-down tent that he used as his office.

“Nobody bother him if you know what’s good for you,” Sandy warned as she directed students in folding away the tents.

Billy stood there useless as everyone seemed to have the packing under control. Once everyone began heading in opposite directions, Billy cautiously walked towards Dr. Grant’s tent and made sure no one was watching him before stepping inside.

“Morning, Dr. Grant,” he greeted politely, as usual.

“Hey, Billy,” Dr. Grant replied quietly and not looking up.

“Can I get you a coffee?”

“Uh, I guess. Just black, please.”

“I know how you like it,” Billy smirked and hurried out to grab the coffee. He chided himself for the mild flirting and hoped that Dr. Grant hadn’t noticed.

By the time Billy returned to the tent, he noticed there was a car parked next to it, obviously not caring where because of the lack of equipment. He knew it wasn’t Dr. Grant’s car, but could only assume it was someone cleaning out the tent.

“Dr. Grant?” He called into the tent before he stepped inside, carefully holding the coffee.

His breath caught in his throat as he saw Dr. Grant holding a pretty blonde lady and ending a soft kiss.

“Oh, Billy, come on in,” Dr. Grant mumbled, his face flushing red. “This is Dr. Sattler. Ellie, this is Billy. He’s been helping out for a few weeks.”

Dr. Grant stepped forward to take the coffee from Billy. Then Dr. Sattler moved around him, after he took his drink, and walked up to Billy herself.

“It’s nice to meet you, Billy,” she smiled warmly and offered her hand.

“Thank you, Dr. Sattler,” Billy replied while accepting her hand. He couldn’t help but smile at her. It’s not like he had the right to be outwardly jealous anyway.

“Please, you can call me Ellie.”

“Sure,” Billy grinned and glanced at Dr. Grant who was studying him while drinking his coffee. Billy couldn’t read his eyes, but felt as though Alan was trying to tell him something. “Well, uh, I better go help the other’s…”

He didn’t wait for a response as he left the tent.

What was Dr. Grant trying to tell him with that look? Billy wouldn’t be completely surprised if he was aware of his crush. He was sure that being a professor, this wasn’t the first time this has happened. That was ridiculous though. He was probably just thanking Billy for the coffee and apologizing for allowing him to walk into an awkward moment. Yeah, that had to have been it.

After that, Billy was glad to get back to work. He wouldn’t be getting anymore of Dr. Grant’s time to himself with Ellie around.


“Aw, he seemed nice,” Ellie cooed as she carefully packed away Alan’s files into boxes.

“Yeah, he’s a good kid,” Alan agreed while filling some boxes himself.

“I worry about you when I’m not around, but it seems as though you have a few people here that are willing to look after you.” She was teasing, but Alan knew that she was honestly relieved.

“Yeah, it’s nice to know that some people are still willing to be around me.”

“Alan,” Ellie sighed, “We talked about this. It’s not you… it’s,” she waved her hand in the direction of the dig, “Those things out there.”

“I know, Ellie. But they’re literally rocks. You can’t look at those out there and be afraid of them like we were on the island. It’s not the same.”

“Maybe to you they’re not.” Her voice was cracking and Alan felt horrible for pushing the subject.

“Jeez, I’m sorry. I know this has been hard for you, but it’s been hard for me, too. I just wish you were around. You don’t have to help on the dig. I just want you here.”

“I know, Alan. I’m back now, though. Now we can go home and try to move past this summer. Hopefully next year will be easier for the both of us.”

“Yeah, I hope so. This summer felt completely off without you.”

“Alan, stop.” She blushed and kissed him on the cheek.

Alan turned back around and focused on his task. Yeah, this year was definitely different than the others. Jurassic Park changed how he viewed dinosaurs, and it changed how his students viewed him. He had nightmares most nights and still ached from his injuries. Ellie didn’t want to be around and he was left alone.

The only positive was Billy. For some reason this kid always fell back into his mind. Yes, he wanted Ellie to be around next summer. Of course he did. That didn’t stop him from wanting Billy back as well. If Ellie chose to be absent for most of next summer again, he could at least hope that Billy would be there to take her place.
5th-Sep-2015 05:51 pm - Life Found A Way
Name: Life Found A Way
Author: Natalie (twins1729)
Rating: PG (Story NC-17)
Pairing(s): Alan/Billy
Characters: Alan, Billy, Ellie
Word Count: 1022
Summary: Alan and Billy meet in Montana in the summer of 1994. This is their story.

AN: Not Beta'd. Please review. It'll motivate me to post quicker. :)

August, 1994 – Montana Badlands

Montana summers were notoriously dry and hot. The weather was uncomfortable, but perfect for digging up million-year-old fossils. It made for long days and dirt that was pleasantly manageable.

There were only a few weeks left in the dig, and Dr. Alan Grant was actually looking forward to the end of the season. This year had been particularly hard on him. Ever since the events from the previous summer, the students have been too distracted on their interest in Jurassic Park to pay attention to anything else.

Despite his strict rules on not mentioning—and especially gossiping—about the Park, it seemed as though that’s all the students ever talked about. It wasn’t so bad when he wasn’t around. At times he would enter a tent to everyone hushing each other, or hear his name being whispered while walking past a group lying down on the desert floor. He tried not to let it bother him, so long as they didn’t speak to him, or Ellie, directly.

Ellie seemed to be having a harder time than him. He tried his best to be there for her, although lately, his girlfriend seemed to want to spend her time anywhere but with him. He couldn’t really blame her; he barely wanted to be around dinosaurs himself. Currently she was out of state, working with some associates at an opening exhibit.

He tried not to let her absence bother him. The relief of not having to protect her from questioning students was a load off, but without her help, the work piled up.

This morning he had woken up early and noticed there was a steady rain starting. He shrugged and decided it would be a good time to catch up on some paperwork. Honestly, he was grateful for the break, and the cool air. He was sitting in a tent reading over some files with a cup of coffee when one of his graduate students poked his head in.

“Dr. Grant?” He called.

“Yes?” Alan replied without looking up from his work.

“A new student just pulled up. Says he wants to volunteer for the last couple of weeks. Just a freshman, I think. Do you mind?”

“Hmm,” Alan sighed and stretched his neck. Another student poking around and asking questions about that god forsaken island, no doubt—whatever. They could use the help when it was time to pack up. “Fine, fine. Send him in.”

Alan stood and went to refill his coffee, and listened as he heard the new student being told to come in. He sat back down as soon as the young man entered the tent.

“Good morning,” Alan greeted and watched as the young man smiled nervously.

“Good morning,” he replied politely, but with a shaky breath at the end.

“Listen, I don’t usually accept visitors towards the end of the summer like this, but I lost a lot of students halfway through the season. We need the help. However, I also expect students to fill out the proper forms before showing up.”

“I’ll do whatever I can to help, but ah,” the young man smiled anxiously and rubbed the back of his neck, “I did submit a request through your department. They said it might take a few weeks, but that was at the beginning of June.”

Alan felt his face getting hot in embarrassment. He sheepishly turned towards a tall stack of papers on his desk, and new without looking that the kid was telling the truth.

“Well then,” Alan stood up and walked around his desk, “Sorry for the delay. Thank you for taking the initiative and joining us.”

He extended his hand and offered it to the other man.

“It’s my pleasure, Dr. Grant.” The young man shook his hand graciously. “I’m so excited to be here and thank you so much for not turning me away.”

Alan could tell already that he liked this kid. He was polite and sincere, and he hadn’t mentioned Jurassic Park once so far. If he was lucky, he could mold him into a great addition to their team. There was just the matter of finding something for him to work on today… Alan smirked and turned back to the young man.

“Actually, I have the perfect task for you to start with. With the weather today, most of the students spend their time working indoors anyway.”

“Absolutely. I’ll do anything. Name it and I’ll be glad to help.”

Alan nodded and grinned again when he turned away. This kid’s enthusiasm was endearing.

“Okay,” Alan began as he reached the corner of his tent. He grabbed another stack of paperwork and placed it next to the one on the corner of his desk. “Here. I need you to sort and file these documents. Anything signed from the University goes into that file cabinet.” Alan pointed to the small cabinet that his coffee maker sat on. “Everything else goes into the larger one right here.” Alan gestured to the cabinet behind his desk. “Think you can manage?”

The young man smiled brightly and gave Alan a thumbs up.

“Of course!” He replied with sheer optimism and went straight over to the piles and began sorting through them eagerly.

“Well then, I guess I’ll be off. I need to make my rounds. Lunch is at 11 and get with Sandy for your tent assignment. Any questions?”

“Nope. I think I’m good. Thanks again for letting me stay.”

Alan smiled and watched for a moment as the kid carefully sorted through the files. “It’s no problem. I’ll come and check on you in an hour.” With that, Alan began to walk out the flap of his tent. He stopped just as he took as step out and turned his head around. “I’m sorry, what was your name?”

“Oh, Billy Brennan,” Billy answered cheerfully, and went straight back to his work.

“Welcome to Montana, Billy,” Alan spoke quickly and exited the tent completely. He started towards the first stop in his round, thinking highly of the new student. ‘Billy,’ he thought, ‘I hope he sticks around for a while.’
31st-Aug-2015 10:18 pm - Friendly Advice
The Love
Name: Friendly Advice
Author: Natalie (twins1729)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Alan/Billy
Characters: Alan, Ian
Word Count: 1050
Summary: It was a normal Tuesday evening when Ian Malcolm showed up in Montana unannounced, and insisted on dinner with Alan.

AN: Thanks to BlueOnyx for the beta. :)

It was a normal Tuesday evening when Ian Malcolm showed up in Montana unannounced, and insisted on dinner with Alan. Alan reluctantly agreed, but complained that Ian should have at least called.

And so that night they sat in the local bar, discussing Ian’s new book. Alan pretended to be unaware that it had even been published, and smirked into his drink when Ian seemed truly offended.

“I’ll send you a signed copy, personally,” Ian promised.

Alan rolled his eyes. “I’ll look forward to it.”

After they both finished their meal, Ian wasn’t ready to go yet, so he bought Alan his favorite drink; the conversation still revolving around himself and his book. After a moment of silence, Ian smiled and Alan knew something else was coming.

“So, what’s with you and your hot dig assistants?” Ian began.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Alan replied, annoyed.

“Well, first I find out you were sleeping with Ellie, and now you’ve got Billy. So what’s up? I mean, you’re not sleeping with him, too, are you?”

Alan choked on his drink and glanced around to see if anyone had heard Ian’s loud mouth. “No, I am not sleeping with him!” He hissed in response.

Ian nodded and was silent for a moment. “So, you wouldn’t mind if I asked him out then?”

“…What?!” Alan’s mind spun. Oh, no, you fucking don’t. “Ian, you are unbelievable! He is my student. He’s also way too young for you!”

Ian grinned. “Gosh, Alan, I had no idea you’d feel so strongly about this.”

Alan felt his face heat up. “I just don’t want to subject him to you. He has enough to worry about without you bothering him.”

“I see.”

Ian was quiet again, and Alan began to scold himself for reacting like he did. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear Ian continue.

“Well, I’ll just have to ask out that pretty brunette who couldn’t stop smiling at me. She seemed interested. What is she, a grad student?”

“Huh? Who?”

“The brunette that showed me around the dig.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s Lucy. She’s a good student. I’m her thesis advisor.”

“Hmm, but I can ask her out?”

Alan snorted. “Give it a shot, but she’s smart. Don’t be surprised if she turns you down.”

“Well, I’m only in town tonight. Think I’ll get lucky?”

Alan sighed. “I don’t know, Ian.”

They sat in silence for a moment until Ian started to laugh. Alan stared at him with a deepening frown and couldn’t understand why.

"What’s so god damned funny?” He snapped.

Ian just shook his head and laughed. And laughed. He laughed until his face was red and tears were staining the corners of his eyes. Alan sank down in his chair, grateful that at least no one was staring.

“It’s nothing,” Ian gasped after a few more seconds. “It’s just that, wow, you’re really in love with him aren’t you?”

What? In love? With who?”

“Ellie was right,” Ian continued as if Alan didn’t speak, “She said, ‘Alan in so in love with that boy, whether he realizes it or not!’ I guess I didn’t believe her, but here we are!”

“Are—are you talking about Billy?” Alan questioned. Ian raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Oh, you are full of it, Ian; I’m not in love with him.”

“Yes you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Alan, I know you’re being willfully ignorant. Look, I mentioned asking Billy out—and called him hot—and you flipped. He’s not even your student right now. Don’t think I’m not aware of that. Then I offer to ask out that pretty brunette, who I’m pretty sure is younger than Billy, and was even crude about it! You didn’t flinch! You basically told me, ‘Good luck!’”

Alan opened his mouth to speak, but he ended up just gaping like an idiot.  “That doesn’t mean anything, Ian. Billy’s also my friend.”

“Uh huh, and you’re in love with him.”

Alan ignored him and changed the subject. “Just how much have you and Ellie talked about this anyway?”

“Oh, not much. During our last conversation, that’s when she was convinced. She couldn’t stop talking about it. She’s thrilled for you, Alan. She wants you to have somebody. That’s why I came out here, to meet Billy. I was supposed to see how you acted around each other, because she’s only ever talked to Billy over the phone.”

“You came all this way to see whether you could confirm Ellie’s suspicions?”

“Her correct suspicions,” Ian pointed out smugly. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure that Billy likes you, too.”

“Ian, no it’s… what?”

Ian smug smile widened. “Admit that you have feelings for him, and I’ll tell you more.”

“Damn you,” Alan groaned and placed his head into his hands. He took a few deep breaths and spoke into his palms. “Alright. I…I love him, Ian.”

“Huh? What was that? You were a bit muffled.”

Ian chuckled when Alan lifted his head up at him and scowled.

“You win,” Alan grunted, “I admit it. I’m in love with him. Happy now?”


“Now, tell me why you think he likes me, too. Please, Ian."

“Alan…he’s so in love with you, it’s crazy. I know I just met him, but you should see the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention. I bet he follows you around like a puppy and constantly helps you, willing to do the most miniscule tasks. I bet he’s been doing it for years—before he was even your assistant.”

Alan sat silent, thinking about what Ian said. Everything was true, but Ian had to have known. How could he have known? “Okay, how can you possibly know all that?”

“Alan, it’s me you’re talking to,” Ian explained and laughed. “Plus, that’s just more commentary from mine and Ellie’s conversations. Alan, you need to tell him.”

“I will, I swear. Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, but trust me, I will.”

“You need to. You deserve to be happy.”

Alan smiled, truly smiled, at the annoying mathematician. “Thanks, Ian. In your own weird way, you actually made me feel better about all of this.”

“No problem, man. What would you do without me?”
13th-Aug-2015 11:59 am - To Billy
White Ranger
Name: To Billy
Author: Natalie (twins1729)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Alan/Billy
Word Count: 2666
Summary: “Wait…what?” Billy gasped as he re-read the cover several times. “You wrote another book? When did you write another book?!”

AN: I want to thank both Museaway and Tarlan for reading this over for me. This is my first fic in a long time and they both helped me greatly. You're both amazing!! Also, this is supposed to take place before JP3.

Billy’s small apartment was finally empty after several hours of a quiet birthday party. Dozens of empty cups, beer bottles, and paper plates occupied every available surface of the young doctoral student’s living room and kitchen. Sighing heavily, Billy went into his kitchen and began putting away the left over food and cake. He had only invited a few friends from school, acquaintances from his paleontological dig from the previous summer, and for the upcoming one; but with the cramped space, it all added to the mess. Usually he never bothered with a party, save for taking a few buddies to a restaurant or bar, but he was celebrating his 25th birthday, and he felt a little something extra could be done.

“Need any help?” a voice asked behind him as he was tying off a garbage bag. He jumped, letting go of the strings, and spun around.

“Alan, holy shit!” Billy laughed while clutching a hand to his chest. “You scared the crap out of me. I didn’t know you were still here.”

“Yeah,” Alan smirked and scratched his forehead. “I was feeling a little claustrophobic so I decided to have a seat on your balcony. I hope you don’t mind. After I heard how quiet it was in here, I decided to see what was up. Wasn’t expecting to see everyone cleared out by nine.”

Billy grinned and picked up the trash and walked to place it by his front door, “Well, we’re not in college anymore,” he teased, “Most of us are responsible adults with jobs we have to be up early for tomorrow.”

Alan smiled and walked over to a tall bookshelf in the corner of the living room. Billy watched as Alan reached and grabbed a small package from one of the higher shelves. After a moment, he realized it was a birthday gift, and wondered how Alan had placed it up there without him noticing.

“Actually, I’m glad they left earlier than I expected. I wanted to give you this in private.”

“Why, what is it?” Billy questioned suspiciously.

“Nothing bad,” Alan laughed softly, “You’ll see once you open it. Go on.” He placed the bundle in Billy’s hands. Billy moved to sit on the arm of his couch as he began to unwrap his gift.

He tried to remain patient as he opened his present with Alan’s stern eyes watching him carefully. As he pulled the paper aside, he could clearly see it was a book. A hardcover, with a photo of a raptor skeleton decorating the front, along with the words, “Earth’s Dominant Species: The Evolution of the Velociraptor. By Dr. Alan Grant.”

“Wait…what?” Billy gasped as he re-read the cover several times. “You wrote another book? When did you write another book?!”

Alan laughed deeply and placed his hand on the book’s cover.

“This,” he began, “Is my advanced copy. It’s not due to be in stores for months. Probably not until the fall.”

Billy nodded in passing but otherwise didn’t acknowledge Alan’s answer. He held the copy in his hands as he stared at it in utter awe.

“I can’t believe it. I’m so excited to read it.” Billy threw the opened wrapping paper aside and held the book to his chest, and pulling his arms around it. “Thank you so much for letting me read it before it’s on sale.”

“Well, you did help me write it…in a way. From all of our research last summer, and your help with everything we’re trying to determine about raptor communication. I was just hoping you didn’t think I was trying to steal your thunder. I know you were thinking of using this topic as part of your dissertation.”

“No, not at all. That thought didn’t even cross my mind. I’m just excited you still have the passion to write. I can’t wait to read it!”

Completely unaware he was rambling, Billy was nearly bouncing in excitement, since Alan’s previous two books had been favorites of his for obvious reasons. They sat worn on the same shelf this book sat previously. This book would soon, hopefully, discover the same fate.

“There’s something else,” Alan spoke quietly, as he walked a step closer to Billy, who was still leaning on the couch’s arm.

Alan reached his hands out and took the book from him, opened it to a specific page and placed it back into Billy’s hands. Billy smiled and looked to see what Alan had wanted him to read. After he saw it, he froze and tried very hard to swallow a lump that was forming in his throat. He looked up at Alan and smiled warmly, blinking to prevent tears from spilling out of the corner’s of his eyes.

“Read it,” Alan whispered, even though had to know Billy had already seen it.

To Billy,” he read. His voice was soft and cracked slightly. “For inspiring me every day.”

Billy let his fingers dance across the words for a few moments before looking back up at Alan, losing the battle with his tears.

“Oh, Alan,” he sighed and held the book to his chest once again. Alan stared at him quietly, his cheeks turning a dark shade of pink.

“Billy, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have rediscovered my passion for dinosaurs. After Isla Nublar and everything that followed, I lost most of my enthusiasm. I tried so hard to get it back. I still worked, obviously; it was my livelihood. It wasn’t until you joined me full time last summer that I felt that spark. I saw so much of myself in you and what I was like before Jurassic Park. It was contagious. The way you went on and on about raptors…I could tell you thought you were annoying me, but you weren’t. Not even for a second. You made me want to work and learn, more than I had felt in a decade.”

Alan took a deep breath and stopped for a moment. Billy didn’t speak, but felt more tears fall at Alan’s words. Brushing his hands over his face, Alan continued.

“I started writing at night when everyone was asleep. Just in a notebook by a bonfire. Nothing substantial. Just outlines, drafts, and essays about our daily work. When I got back to the University last fall, I started putting everything together. Before I knew it, I had a damn novel. I sent what I had to my publisher and he loved it. After some revisions and editing, he sent me this copy. Just one; and I knew I couldn’t let anyone else read it but you.”

Billy was mesmerized by Alan’s speech, tears still falling slowly down his face and the book still held tightly in his arms. Alan took a deep breath and stood up straight and stepped slightly back from him. Billy could tell he was nervous, like he hadn’t meant for everything to spill out like that.

“Alan,” Billy repeated, and stood up. He stepped closer, hoping Alan wouldn’t back up farther. Alan attempted to speak once again, maybe to explain away some of the deeper feelings he had somewhat just admitted to. Before one word exited his mouth, Billy had brought his arms around his neck and was leaning up towards his lips. Alan momentarily hesitated before accepting the soft kiss and allowing his hands to drape gently around Billy’s waist.

The kiss lasted for a minute before Billy pulled away. He smiled brightly at Alan before pulling back his arms and placing his gift on the coffee table. Alan stood up straight and let his hands fall to his sides, appearing very stiff and startled.

“Shhh,” Billy soothed and brought his hands up to cup Alan’s face, “It’s okay. I want this.” Billy pulled Alan’s face towards his own again as he leaned up the best as he could to reach the Alan’s lips.

They kissed slowly and sensually. Alan being the submissive and almost timid, but he allowed Billy’s tongue to roam his mouth. He eventually copied Billy’s motions and placed his hands on the sides of his face, letting his thumbs wipe away the wet trails of the tears. Several moments passed with both men never coming up for air. Eventually Billy’s arms found their way around Alan’s neck and pulled him into a tight hug. Alan had his arms cupped behind Billy’s shoulders and greedily returned it.

Another minute passed before Billy pulled back with a gasp.

“Wow,” he whispered, caressing the hair on the back of Alan’s head.

Alan kept his arms around Billy, and his eyes shut. Before Alan could open his eyes, Billy slowly slid his hands down Alan’s arms and grabbed onto his hands.

* * *

The next thing Alan saw when he opened his eyes was Billy’s shy smile. They were in his bedroom, and he was slowly undoing the buttons on Alan’s shirt. Alan knew he could object. He knew that he could say no and that Billy would forgive him. That he could explain his reservations about the age difference and the nagging voice telling him he was abusing his position as Billy’s mentor. Still, he couldn’t will himself to speak.

After Billy removed Alan’s plaid shirt and t-shirt, he stepped back to remove his sweatshirt in one smooth motion and throw it into a pile in the corner. Alan smirked as the motion had messed up Billy’s hair, but he let his smile fall when Billy turned back to him.

“Are you okay?” Billy asked, suddenly serious.

Alan knew he seemed apprehensive and wanted to make sure Billy knew that he wanted this. That he wanted him.

“I’m wonderful,” Alan sighed and lunged forward, pulling Billy into his arms and into a passionate kiss. They kissed as Alan walked them slowly to the bed and gently lowered Billy onto the mattress. Their lips stayed sealed as Alan began to unbutton and unzip Billy’s jeans.

Once Alan had Billy’s jeans just below his hips, he sat up and pulled them off the rest of the way. Alan let his eyes linger on Billy’s naked body. His breath caught in his throat, suddenly feeling very emotional. Shaking his head, he brought himself out of the trance and stood to finish undressing himself, before crawling back on top of his lover.

They made out for several minutes, eventually reaching their hands to each other’s hardened erections and bringing them up to stiff and dripping masses. Billy brought the hand that had been stroking Alan to full hardness up to cup his face. He smiled sweetly and then leaned over to open his beside table drawer. He handed Alan a small tube of lube and single condom. Alan stared at him nervously before taking the offered items and setting them down next to their naked bodies.

Alan knelt back and looked down at the man lying before him. Billy was beautiful and Alan wanted him, but his worries were nagging at the back of his mind, despite his attempts to ignore it.

“Alan,” Billy spoke gently as he laced his fingers through Alan’s right hand. “Please. I want you inside me.”

Alan blew out the breath of air he had been holding for longer than he realized and positioned himself between Billy’s legs. Billy eagerly spread them apart as Alan squirted some lube onto his fingers. Slowly he spread some around Billy’s tight entrance before pressing in his index finger. Billy was quiet and his face remained relatively unchanged as Alan slowly prepared him. Billy began moaning, and Alan knew he wanted to feel his cock inside of him. However, Billy didn’t rush him and stayed patient and let Alan do what he felt was right.

A couple of minutes later, Billy was clearly getting tired of waiting. He gripped Alan’s wrist and looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“Okay,” Alan laughed. He pulled out his fingers and wiped them on the bed sheet. He reached for the condom and ripped it open. After opening it fully onto his dick, he took another squirt of lube and slicked it onto his erection.

Billy had his eyes closed as Alan slowly eased himself into the tight, hot entrance. Once he was fully inside, his balls right up against Billy’s soft ass, he took a moment to position himself. He took Billy’s right leg and draped it over his left shoulder, and Billy placed his other leg as far as he could around Alan’s waist. Gripping the Billy’s legs, Alan eased out slowly and pushed back in at the same easy pace.

“Oh yeah,” Billy moaned softly as Alan’s cock moved out and in of his ass.

Alan slowly continued to make love to him and only allowed himself to gasp and groan quietly. He’d never been really vocal in his lovemaking. Seeing that Billy was fully comfortable in this position, and experiencing no pain, Alan leaned forward slightly and placed his left hand to the side of Billy’s head and his right on Billy’s chest.

Billy grinned up at him as Alan continued to thrust fully. He gripped Alan’s bicep as it flexed with every push forward and laced his fingers behind the hand that was resting on his chest.

“Fuck, Alan,” Billy swore as Alan’s pace sped up slightly.

“You feel so amazing, Billy,” Alan tried to sweet talk. Billy smirked at his statement, and seemed to find it perfectly genuine.

As Alan began to quicken his thrusts, Billy’s moans got louder. Alan was completely turned on by Billy’s moans and curses, but tried not to let that be his undoing alone.

“Oh god, Alan. Right there,” Billy groaned, “Fuck me, right there.”

Billy clenched his eyes as Alan attempted to repeatedly hit the area that seemed to pleasure him the most. As Billy’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, Alan’s hand quickly reached for Billy’s cock and he began to jack him off as steady as he could. Billy’s hand soon covered his wrist as he attempted to help Alan with this task.

“Come on, Billy,” Alan panted, “Come for me.”

One more stroke of Billy’s dick and he was gone, coming all over his stomach and chest, and Alan’s fist. Alan groaned hard at the sensation of Billy’s orgasm. First at the visual display and secondly at the feel of muscles squeezing around his still-hard cock.

Alan did his best to steady himself and was able to thrust three more times before yelling out Billy’s name and trying not to fall onto the body below him.

He remembered hearing Billy’s gasp as he pulled out and discarded the very full condom. Then there were a few kisses placed on his face as he sighed and gently lay down next to Billy on the other side of the bed. He reached out to hold him, but then the memories stopped as sleep quickly took him.

* * *

Alan woke up several hours later and he felt absolutely brilliant, albeit a little sore, his lower back aching along with his hips. He turned over in the bed as he was remembering the complete events from earlier that evening. He was met with the sight of Billy sitting up and reading.

“Hey, you,” Billy flirted , set down the book and turned towards Alan. The soft glow of the lamp on the side table filled the room dimly.

“Hey,” Alan all but purred and leaned in to kiss Billy soundly. “What are you reading?”

“Your book,” Billy laughed shyly.

“Already?” Alan replied, laughing lightly as well.

“Of course. I mean, you did dedicate it to me.”

“Actually, I don’t know how to break it to you, but it was actually for another person named Billy.”

“You’re an ass,” Billy giggled and pushed Alan onto his back.

Alan stared up at the beautiful man above him and ran his fingers through his curly hair.

“You’re right,” Alan sighed, “It was you. It’s always been you.”
4th-Nov-2011 12:37 pm - Just Don't Hurt Me
Name: Just Don't Hurt Me
Author: Natalie (twins1729)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Carlos/Kendall
Word Count: 2,228
Warning: Violence
Summary: After an arguement, Kendall and Carlos lead themselves into a heavier situation.
Disclaimer: Sadly, BTR isn't mine. I promise you though, I am working on it.

AN:I've been working on this forever. I think this is supposed to take place after "Big Time Crush," but it doesn't have to. Thanks to shisou_eimin for looking this over for me. Mistakes are mine, though.

It starts with a shove and Kendall stumbling backwards. Then before he has a chance to even stand, a fist comes into contact with his jaw. It’s not a hard punch, but it does sting and make his eyes water.

This time he regains his balance and grabs Carlos by the shoulders tightly. He can see the Latino wince, but he doesn't care. He begins to shake the shorter man violently, as if he was a misbehaving child. Of course he doesn't want to hurt him, not really, but when he’s fighting this intensely he doesn’t think about things like that. This is a moment where he would throw the gloves off his hands and helmet off his head, nothing on his mind except trying to get the fucker on the other team that called his teammate a fag.

Before Kendall gets too upset and does something he'll really regret, he eases up; watching as the anger still burns in Carlos' deep eyes.

"Do you have that little respect for me?" Carlos chokes out. Kendall can see the brown eyes fill modestly with water.

"I was just trying to help!" He repeats for the tenth time. "You know that I would never do anything to hurt you!"

Carlos let's out a strangled sob and shoves Kendall once again. It looks as if he means to go around Kendall and leave the room, but Kendall doesn't see this. He roughly grabs the fabric of Carlos' collar and swings him around.

"I just wanted to help you find a girlfriend! You’re always fucking whining about it!" He's screaming in the other boy's face; Carlos' eyes are shut tight. He can feel the spit flying onto his caramel skin.

"I didn't ask for anyone's help! And I only whine when the rest of you rub your girlfriends in my face." He grips Kendall's wrist tightly and pulls it from his shirt. Kendall takes his arm back, fighting the urge to grab at Carlos once again. "I mean, I get it! You're all better than me; I'm used to it by now. It would just be nice if you all would shut up about it once in a while!"

Kendall wants to feel bad when he hears the Latino's words, but he only gets defensive. "I'm sorry you're that insecure," he mocks, "But you let me do it! And you didn't even care that it didn't work out until James and Logan said something."

"It’s just that you’re all always making fun of me. I'm not the one that really wants a girlfriend. It’s you guys that want me to have one. Then you convince yourselves that's what I want. Then I get sucked into the delusion and I think I want one, too."

Carlos is now speaking very softly and Kendall is listening intently; it’s all beginning to get to him.

It stops when the shorter boy continues.

"You, James, Logan and Jo can all go hell for all I care. You're all nothing but pricks whose joy in life comes from seeing me fail. And trust me, you've cashed in on it plenty of times."

"Do you really think you’re that fucking interesting!" Kendall screams before he can think of anything else to say, his frustration getting the best of him. "Are you that fucking arrogant? Do you really think that we all just go around thinking of ways to make you miserable? You are not that important!"

Carlos just stares at the taller boy in shock. He has no response and is almost left in a daze. He snaps out of it when he hears Kendall mumbling.

"I knew you were stupid, but this-" But the blond doesn't have a chance to finish because he's suddenly on the floor trying to defend himself.

"I'm not some fucking dumbass!" Carlos is screaming impossibly loud and Kendall can see the tears falling from his eyes, but it doesn't affect his anger. He stands up easily and pushes Carlos against a wall.

"If I were you, I would stop now," he speaks through gritted teeth.

"And what if I don't..."

"Then you will see how fucked up I can make you."

It’s when he sees the fear in the chocolate eyes that Kendall snaps. He doesn't hit, punch or harm Carlos. What he does surprises them both.

His hands grab a fistful of black hair and his mouth slams onto the other. Carlos doesn't kiss back. Instead he shoves Kendall away forcefully and slaps him across the face, hard - but then he's gripping the sides of the blond's head and kissing him more powerfully than Kendall kissed him before.

They let the kiss drag on, neither even coming up for air. The tension and anger, however, remains as heavy. Kendall pulls away, almost softly and looks into the Latino's eyes - they are unreadable.

"What the fuck?" Is all Carlos can say.

Kendall shrugs and wraps his arms around his small shoulders. He wants to innocently flirt, but he can't help but remain aggressive. He leans into Carlos for another soft kiss and he can feel the Latino moaning into his mouth. The blond then forcefully pushes his tongue inside the wet heat and it’s obvious he wants to be dominant. Carlos plays along, allowing Kendall to dominate.

He feels the blond’s mouth leave his own and then travel to his chin and down to his neck. Carlos moans when the other boy begins to lightly suck at his soft skin, but without warning, Kendall bites him.

It shouldn’t make him mad, but he was already upset and he can’t help but letting the feeling remain.

“Fuck you!” He screams when he pushes Kendall away. Not being able to help rubbing the sensitive area. It’s not bad at all, he was exaggerating.

He knows this.

But Kendall’s green eyes are suddenly angrier than ever, and playful? Like he knows that Carlos wasn’t really upset.

“Oh, if that’s what you want,” Kendall responds mischievously. Then he’s grabbing Carlos by the shoulders and pushing him towards the bed.

He looks up at Kendall, surprised, and even tries to hold his shirt down as the blond begins to peel it off. Not really sure if he wants to stop or not. He should be resisting, right? Kendall smirks when he gets Carlos’ dress shirt off and pushes him so he’s lying on his back. The Latino watches as he then removes his own plaid shirt and crawls on top of him. Again, he wants to resist, but Kendall thrusts his hips at just the right spot and he’s gone.

Their kissing resumes with passion. Kendall wanting to take the smaller boy in a way no one has, and Carlos is only going along with what his body is responding to.

When Kendall leans his head down and starts nipping at the Latino’s neck once again, Carlos finally begins to realize what’s going on. He pushes at Kendall’s shoulders and tries to move out from under him.

“Are you trying to rape me or something?!” Carlos shrieks while still attempting to break free.

The blond laughs deep and easily maneuvers Carlos’s wrists above his head and holds him down properly.

“Shut the fuck up, Carlos. You’re enjoying this and you know it. Just calm down and wait for what’s coming.”

The smaller boy shifts unevenly and Kendall dips his head down one final time. Carlos can feel the mouth on his neck and grows frustrated because he really doesn’t enjoy it that much. When Kendall lifts his head, he’s proud to see a purple bruise marking the tan skin. Distracted, Carlos moves a bit under him, and Kendall has to pin him back down.

“I told you to calm down,” the blond growls and pins Carlos’ wrists with one hand, while using the other to remove the rest of his clothes.

Carlos doesn’t want to weaken, but he knows this is Kendall. And Kendall would stop if he really wanted him to. Right?

“Kendall,” he breathes out softly. The resisting forcing him to lose energy.

“What?!” The blond snaps as he’s trying to remove Carlos’ pants with one hand.

“Just… please,” he gulps, “Don’t hurt me, okay?”

Kendall keeps his head turned down as he nods. He can’t do more than that. He’s trying to keep the aggression alive, because he’s really turned on.

He gets Carlos’ jeans and boxers off of only one leg before he gives up. At least he can reach his goal now. Deciding he doesn’t need to be fully naked as well, Kendall only gets his jeans down past his hips. All the time holding Carlos down with one hand.

Carlos is breathing hard, obviously nervous, but he’s still not struggling much. He trusts Kendall. Again, he hopes. When he feels something wet at his entrance, he opens his mouth to protest, but stops when his realizes it’s only a small finger. Still, it hurts a little, and is more than a little uncomfortable.

It’s quiet for the next few minutes, save for Carlos’ quiet whimpering.

Once Kendall is pleased with his work – having added several fingers along the way – he spits into his free hand and lathers up his aching cock. Very gently, he places the tip at the Latino’s entrance. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he actually hurt the other boy, so he has to be careful.

Carlos sucks in a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut, but he doesn’t push Kendall away. Kendall smiles and kisses the side of his mouth.

After a few long minutes, Kendall’s all the way in and he lets out a deep moan. God Carlos is fucking tight. He stays still, watching the smaller boy’s face. It’s full of discomfort and it almost makes him want to pull out. But then the dark eyes are looking up at him and Carlos nods.

Kendall smiles devilishly and pulls all the way out, only to push right back in.

“Fuuuuuck,” Carlos groans and wraps the leg that isn’t constricted with clothing around Kendall’s waist.

The blond decides to readjust himself, while continuing to grind his dick inside the caramel boy’s hole. He takes his hands and places each on one of Carlos’ wrists that are still lying above his head.

Carlos looks so fucking hot like this, and he can’t help but lean down and give him one last sloppy kiss before pulling out and pushing back in. The Latino keeps moaning, and it only makes Kendall even hornier. To know he’s pleasuring the other boy like this.

And to think this all started with a fight.

Kendall keeps going. It feels too good to let up. It’s a steady pace until Carlos starts whimpering something about Kendall needing to go deeper. The taller boy can only think that maybe he’s not hitting Carlos prostate dead on, so he focuses on attacking it. His hips are stiff and it’s hard to maneuver with his pants just above his knees, but he’s trying to keeps his thrusts as accurate as possible.

Again, Carlos’ moans only drive him even crazier and before he knows it, he’s relentlessly pounding into the small boy. Eventually he let’s up on Carlos’ arms and he feels them wrap around his shoulders and pulls him down as close as possible. Both are still wearing their under shirts, so he can’t feel their naked chests rub together, but it’s still so fucking hot.

Before Kendall can even decide whether or not he wants to pull out, he’s right there. And he’s coming harder than any orgasm in his life and Carlos just groans in response. Obviously feeling Kendall’s seed filling his insides.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god!” Carlos moans and then he’s coming, too. It covers his white shirt and the blond bites his lip. He’s way too tired to get turned on again.

As soon as Carlos is quiet, Kendall pulls out. His hips are sore and cramped. He lies flat on his back and stretches his legs and pulls his pants back up. Why didn’t he just take them off?

Carlos is lying still and hasn’t even closed his legs.

“Carlos?” Kendall asks quietly.


“You okay?”

Carlos smiles a bit and turns to face Kendall.

“I’m fine. Thank you for being careful.”

Kendall leans over and wraps his arm around the smaller boy.

“I would never have hurt you. I know we were fighting earlier, but we would have made up, and I would have stopped if you-”

“I know, Kendall,” Carlos sighs and pulls the blond in for a soft kiss, “I know.”

They both smile after the kiss and go back in for another. Only a few moments pass before they hear someone enter the apartment. Kendall jumps up in case it’s James. They’re in his and Carlos’ room and he doesn’t want the pretty boy to see them like this.

Carlos stretches and sits up. He pulls his pants and boxers onto his right leg and begins to take off his shirt since it’s covered in his jizz.

“We’ll talk later, okay?” Kendall speaks before opening the door.

“Sure,” Carlos responds while looking for a clean t-shirt.

“Wear your purple one, you look cute in that.”

Carlos looks up and blushes, and finds his purple shirt.

They’ll definitely talk later.
10th-Sep-2010 03:41 pm - 'One Time Thing' - A BTR Fanfic
Name: One Time Thing
Author: Natalie (twins1729)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Carlos/Kendall, but also James/Carlos and Kendall/Logan
Word Count: 6933
Warning: Cheating, RPS
Summary: Losing all thoughts of protest, Carlos began to deepen the kiss. Why couldn't he be with other guys? James dumped him all the time and just expected him to come back. But that was alright, he wasn't supposed to be thinking about James anyway.
Disclaimer: Sadly, BTR isn't mine. I promise you though, I am working on it.

Author's Note: This is an RPS tale about the pairing of Carlos and Kendall. I'm usually not so 'pro-RPS' so I feel kind of like a hypocrite. LOL Oh well. Yes, this involves cheating... sort of. So read this with an open mind, cause Kogan and Jarlos aren't really real. *snorts* Oh, and this has been written for a while now actually. And Beta'd for about half that time. I'm only FINALLY posting it. :)

Carlos rarely got visitors at his house this late a night. Well, uninvited visitors. With his family all the way across the country, and the fact that he was technically still new in town. He didn't have many close friends yet.

He wasn't that surprised to find that is was actually one of his closer friends knocking at his front door. I mean, who else would it be?

"Kendall, what's up?" He asked while opening the door, inviting him in.

Kendall walked in without a word and began to pace his living room.

Carlos stood aside for a few moments and waited for the other man to continue. When he didn't, Carlos sighed and sat back down on the couch and pushed play on his remote. After a moment Kendall joined him and Carlos hit pause once again - turning to face his confusing friend.

"What's wrong?" Carlos asked, concerned. He was simply trying to be careful about the situation.

"Um..." Kendall began slowly, "What usually happens when you and James, you know, break up?"

"Well, it's hard to explain." Carlos scratched the back of his neck, "After a day or two we get back together." 'A typical on-and-off-again relationship,' Carlos added in his head. The two would break up at least every other week, only to get back together a few days later. They were young, it didn't really bother them. It was just how they worked.

Kendall was silent for a moment before he spoke.

"If I wait a few days and talk to Logan, do you think he'd take me back?"

"Wait... you mean...?" Carlos trailed off. How could Logan dump Kendall?

"Yeah, we just got in this stupid fight... and... Well you know, we never fight?" Carlos nodded. "It just kept building and building and he kicked me out of his apartment. He told me he never wanted to see me again." Kendall was softly crying now and Carlos placed an arm around his shoulder.

"Hey, hey," he soothed, "You know he doesn't mean that. I mean, he can't never see you again right?" Carlos laughed lightly and Kendall smirked in response.

"Thanks," Kendall sighed and leaned back into the couch.

"I promise, in a few days he'll be crawling back to you. Just give him time to let him blow off some steam, okay?"


Carlos smiled and leaned back as well, then pushed play on his program once more. Thank god for DVRs.

After his show ended, he turned to Kendall - wondering if his taller friend would decide to leave. It was almost midnight and they had to work tomorrow. Kendall smiled at him and began to scoot a little closer. Carlos looked back at him, confused.

"So, you and James," Kendall brought his hand into Carlos' hair and rubbed his scalp softly, "You're 'off-again' now, right?"

"Ye-yeah," Carlos stuttered.

"Cool," Kendall whispered and brought his hand to the side of Carlos' face. "You're really cute, you know that right?"

"That's what James tells me..."

"Let's not talk about him right now. Or Logan ..." He practically had to force his ex's name out; their break-up obviously fresh in his mind.

Kendall inched closer to the smaller boy until he was sitting directly next to him. He continued to stroke his olive skin and run his fingers gently over his lips. Carlos felt very uncomfortable, but still a bit turned on with Kendall’s actions. He never thought that they would be in anything near this kind of situation, but that only made him want it more.

"Kendall, are you sure? What if...?"

"Shh," Kendall hissed, "I said forget about them. They don't appreciate us."

Carlos wanted to comeback at this but all thoughts left his brain when Kendall finally pressed his lips onto his own. He always thought that his and James’ kissing was perfect, but Kendall ... it was just so different. So new and he really, really wanted more.

Losing all thoughts of protest, Carlos began to deepen the kiss. Why couldn't he be with other guys? James dumped him all the time and just expected him to come back. But that was alright, he wasn't supposed to be thinking about James anyway.

"Um," Carlos interrupted and pulled back; leaving Kendall wanting a whole lot more. "Do you, um, want to go to my bedroom?"

"Yeah," Kendall almost laughed and jumped up off the couch. He reached for Carlos' hand and pulled him to his feet.

Carlos almost thought of a few more things to say to make sure that this was what Kendall wanted to happen. What he wanted to happen. But those thoughts were dismissed, yet again, by his partner in crime.

Kendall was kissing and licking the back of his neck. So seductively, it almost made Carlos drop to his knees and beg to suck Kendall off right then and there. However, he retained his will and turned around. He placed his hands loosely around the blond's neck and pulled his head down. Kendall smiled as Carlos kissed him slowly. He was glad that Carlos was letting himself give into the moment.

Soon Carlos began to bring his hands around Kendall's shoulders and stroked the soft skin. He pulled away from the kiss, and his lips rejoined Kendall on the side of his neck. Kendall sighed softly and tangled his hands into Carlos' hair. He looked down and saw that Carlos had to stand on his tip-toes to reach Kendall; he thought it was so freaking cute.

The sensations on his neck only made Kendall want more. He backed away from Carlos quickly and gave him a peck on his lips. He then reached for the hem of his own shirt and lifted it over his head. Carlos smiled and brought his hand to Kendall's chest. Kendall smirked and walked towards Carlos again.

"Okay, you can continue," he teased. Carlos didn't react to the joke one bit before he stepped forward once more and placed his lips back on Kendall's body.

Kendall moaned softly as Carlos continued to please him. It was nice, but Carlos didn't seem to be as rough as him. He was willing to be sweet if that's what Carlos was into, but he liked it rough and Carlos' timid kissing just wasn't working for him.

"Carlos," Kendall groaned and the shorter man looked up at him, "Stand up."

Doing what he was told, Carlos stood and stared at Kendall - wondering what would happen.

"Now," Kendall continued, "Why don't you sit down on your bed and let me take the lead. Cause I think I need to show you a thing or two."

Carlos wanted to scoff. Like Kendall knew all that he had done? His sexual experiences went way beyond James, and Kendall would be floored to know what he had done in the past. But he only pushed those thoughts out of his head. If Kendall wanted to take charge, he'd let him. And besides, wasn't he supposed to forget about James!?

"Fine," he teased, "You can have me."

Kendall smiled at the Latino, and it only got wider as he began to strip himself of his clothing, only leaving on a pair of charcoal boxer-briefs.

"Nice," Kendall sighed and kneeled down in front of his friend. He roughly threw Carlos down onto the bed; making him lie on his back with his legs still dropped over the edge.

Kendall started down by Carlos' navel, and then began to kiss and suck his way up his tan skin. Although Carlos seemed to be enjoying himself, Kendall decided he wasn't being as rough as he intended. Without warning, he gripped Carlos' boxers and pulled them off in one swoop.

Carlos gasped and looked down at Kendall with wide eyes. Smiling mischievously, Kendall reached his hand down and began to pump the exposed member almost violently. All Carlos could do was groan at the action. He fisted his sheets tightly and tilted his neck as far as it could reach. Kendall wasn't letting up and he couldn't believe he was reacting this way to a simple hand job.

"Kendaaall," he groaned. It probably sounded like he was in pure ecstasy, but he was just trying to get the boy's attention. He looked up and saw Kendall grin at him and then bend over just enough to place his mouth over the head of his dick. Carlos did groan this time, but was still able to keep himself calm enough to continue to get Kendall's attention.

After trying to speak and having random moans escape is mouth, Carlos lifted his hand and carefully punched Kendall in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Kendall yelled and sat up. "What was that for?"

Carlos giggled a bit and leaned up on his elbows.

"Sorry, sorry," he laughed, "I was just trying to get your attention."

"Okay, you have it. What?" Kendall held back the need to roll his eyes at the confusing man. Logan was never this spazzy in bed, but Carlos was Carlos. He should have known what he was getting into.

"I dig the foreplay and all, but I was hoping we can get straight to the sex. If that's what you want? We have to work tomorrow, remember?"

"Yeah, right..." Kendall trailed off and then sat down at the end of Carlos' bed. He couldn't help but wonder if Carlos wanted this over and done with because he felt guilty. Of course he had to repress those thoughts or he, himself, would start to feel that emotion.

Once Kendall was settled, his clothes fully removed, he crawled into bed and lied down next to Carlos. At that moment, his mind began to wander and think if this was the right thing to do. He was only sexually attracted to Carlos and letting his dick do the thinking. Maybe something like this should be given more thought?

"Why are you so serious?" Carlos spoke suddenly, interrupting Kendall.


"Loosen up a bit!"

"Hey, you're the one that made me stop giving you a blow-job."

"Yeah," Carlos rolled his eyes, "That's because I want you to fuck me." With that, he reached down and grabbed the blond's soft cock. Kendall sighed and watched Carlos intently. "Better?"

"Yeah," Kendall sighed and relaxed into the bed.

After a couple of minutes, Kendall’s cock was completely hard and he looked at Carlos with wanting eyes. Carlos let go of the swollen member and moved so he was flat on his back, knees bent and spread open.

Looking at Kendall, he gave him a sexy pout and let out a hitched breath - trying to sound as horny as possible.

"Kendall, I'm ready," he gasped and then moaned again.

"Shit," Kendall whispered and closed his eyes. Carlos was making him near his orgasm just by looking at him. "Where are the, um, the condoms?"

"Drawer," Carlos replied and pointed to his nightstand.

Not wanting to move much, Kendall rolled over and extended his arm to open the drawer. Inside he found a box of condoms and several bottles of lube. In any other situation he would have teased the Latino, but he was too horny to care about anything more than getting off. He grabbed the bottle that interested him the most and rolled back over so he was facing Carlos.

Carlos spread his legs even farther, inviting the other man to prepare him. Taking the hint, Kendall moved so he was between his legs and spread some lube onto his fingers. When they were coated he began to enter the smaller man.

All Carlos did was groan at this. Being experienced, it didn't hurt much and he only wanted more. Kendall hurriedly put on a condom and after little preparation, he knew that Carlos was ready and positioned himself so he could fill him with his large dick.

Kendall started slowly, only pushing in the head; he had no idea what Carlos was prepared for. Carlos winced a tiny bit and Kendall stopped immediately.

"You okay?" He asked while trying to soothe him by softly rubbing his stomach.

"I'm fine," Carlos reassured and gave him a small smile. "It's just new, but don't worry, I'm good."

Kendall nodded and began to push in the rest of the way. Periodically Carlos would wince once more and Kendall would pause for a few seconds. It took only a couple of minutes for Kendall to be all the way in. Once he was, Carlos' smile grew and gripped the taller man's hips and pushed himself onto his cock - as far as it would go.

"Go on, move!" Carlos shouted and rocked his hips further in frustration.

Grabbing Carlos' thighs, Kendall put them up around his waist and pulled his dick out all of the way. Carlos whimpered and ran a hand through his hair. Kendall again positioned Carlos' thighs and then rested his arms on the sides of his neck. As soon as he was comfortable, he angled his hips and filled Carlos once more.

"Yes!" Carlos screamed wrapped his arms around Kendall’s neck. Kendall did one more long thrust before allowing himself to be pulled down and lock lips with the other man.

They kissed roughly while Kendall continued his pace with Carlos doing his best to meet the thrusts.

After a couple of minutes Kendall began to lose his strength and he stopped moving. Carlos was trying his best to protest, but Kendall just stopped his mouth with another kiss.

"I'm good," he assured Carlos and rested on his left arm. He used his right arm to bring Carlos' left leg over his shoulder. "How's this?" Kendall asked while thrusting deep into Carlos.

"Ooooh, god!" He gasped, "Right there!"

Kendall smirked and began to angle himself to hit that spot every time.

They stayed in this position for the next several minutes; with Kendall moaning and breathing deep as he pleasured Carlos. Carlos on the other hand was unusually silent with the exception of random groans of Kendall’s name or sometimes another "Yes" or "There."

At one point, Kendall got tired and Carlos' leg dropped from his shoulder. Carlos was getting desperate and jacking himself off at an erratic pace.

"I'm so... fuck-fucking close," he finally gasped. He then reached for Kendall and gave him a sloppy kiss.

"Me too," Kendall replied quietly. He looked down at the older man. His face was a mixture of pleasure and frustration. Carlos was still breathing way too hard, and he could see his Adam's Apple bob with quick swallows.

Kendall wanted to help get Carlos off, but he was insatiable. It seemed as though Carlos wouldn't be happy with a slow-and-steady pace. With that in mind, Kendall decided to give it his all until the end.

He grabbed the smaller man's hands and brought them above his head; just to keep him still. Then he repositioned himself so he could thrust into Carlos as fast as he could. Once he felt he was ready, he began to ram the Latino - as hard as he could.

"Yeeess!" Carlos groaned.

It felt so good. Carlos could feel his eyes watering at the pleasure. He really wanted to reach for his cock again, but Kendall kept his wrists pinned tight.

He wasn't able to think about it for too long. Before he knew it, the pleasure was overwhelming and he was ready to come.

With one final thrust at Carlos' prostate, he came with a scream. Kendall thought it sounded like his name, but he wasn't entirely sure. However, it was enough to send him over the edge, after Carlos.

"Carloooss," he groaned. He was pretty sure the name came out his mouth correctly.

After the white lights disappeared, Kendall found himself draped heavily over Carlos. However, he didn't seem to mind. Kendall could almost hear him still moaning quietly and feel his hands stroking the small of this back.

They both wanted to speak, they really did. But to say that they were both exhausted was an understatement. Kendall used all of the strength he had left to pick himself off of the boy and land next to him. Now, he was spent and was not planning on moving for at least several hours. Carlos stayed next to him; he didn't even move an inch.

Neither spoke as the time passed. It was late and before either realized, sleep had taken them both.

* ** *** **** *** ** *

"Fuck!" Was the first thing Kendall heard the next morning. He blinked open one eye and saw Carlos scramble around his bedroom. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

It almost made him laugh.

"What time is it, Carlos?" Kendall whispered quietly. Only assuming they were probably running late for work.

"AH!" Carlos screamed and backed into his dresser - a pair of jeans in hand.

Kendall sat up and rubbed his eyes, "What?"

"Oh my god," Carlos whispered and walked near the bed, "I almost forgot."


"We had sex, didn't we?"

"Yeah, we did." Kendall wanted to make fun of Carlos, but he honestly seemed freaked out by the situation.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Carlos spoke while pacing the small room. "I can't believe it. Oh my god."

"Why are you so upset?"

"Kendall," he began, "It's nothing really against you, or what we did. It's about James and Logan, and anyone else affected by this. What's going to happen now?"

"We... are not going to tell anyone about this. Okay?" Carlos nodded. "Last night, fuck it, I'll say it. It was amazing. Best lay I've had in months."

Carlos smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, James is great, but last night. Just wow, it blew my mind. I really don't want to say it, cause I love James. I do. It's just that..."

"You don't have to finish. I know how you feel. Cause that's how I feel about Logan."

"Yeah," Carlos agreed and sat down on his bed.

"So we both can agree. It was fun, but we'll never do it again. And we never, ever tell anyone about it?"

"Sounds good to me."

They were silent for a few moments. Just sitting there on the bed and thinking.

"Shit!" Carlos shouted, breaking the silence. "We're going to be late."

Kendall smiled as Carlos dashed to the bathroom.

* ** *** **** *** ** *

The first couple of hours on the set were calm. They were all so busy; no one really had a chance to talk.

Finally Carlos had a moment, so he decided to just chill in his dressing room by himself. He was able to think for several minutes before there was a knock on his door.

Sighing, Carlos stood up to see who it was.

"Hey," he spoke while opening the door. James was standing there, with his hands behind his back.

"Hey," he replied smoothly and walked into the room.

Before Carlos had a chance to speak, James shoved a small bouquet of flowers into his arms. Nothing special, but James was just randomly sweet like that.

"I know, I know," James began, not allowing Carlos to speak. "I know we break up all the time. I know that I always come crawling back to you and you take me back. And I know every time you say it's the last time. I know. But... I miss you..." James walked over to him and slowly stroked his face.

"James, I... "

"I know," James interrupted, "but what's one more time, huh?"

"No, James. It's not... "

"Please!" He begged, "I know!"

"James, shut up and let me talk!"

James immediately got quiet and sat down on the couch. Carlos took a deep breath and gently set his flowers down on a table. He turned away for a moment and tried to think of something to say. A huge part of him desperately loved the goof of a man that was James. He wanted to be with him again, but James always screwed something up.

Then again, he screwed up big this time. He couldn't break things off with James and blame it on James alone. But he couldn't get back together with him without feeling the guilt of sleeping with Kendall.

"James," Carlos started, still facing away from the man he loved. "I want to be with you. You have to believe that. I just... can't... "

James stood back up and walked behind Carlos and wrapped his arms around him.

"Why can't you?" He whispered.

"I did something stupid," the shorter man admitted. "And I don't deserve you anymore."

"What is it? Cause believe me, you can't do something to upset me that much."

"Yes I can. Just trust me, before I hurt you anymore."

"What is it?" James seemed to be getting greatly frustrated.

"Please, don't make me say it." Carlos could feel the lump in his throat forming. He hoped James wouldn't hear his voice cracking.

"Baby," the taller man soothed and turned him around. He hugged his lover tightly and kissed him on the forehead. "Tell me, please."

"I-I... I..." He could only stutter.

"Shh...” James spoke while holding him. "Take your time."

"Last night, Kendall came over..." Carlos paused and looked at James' face for a reaction. James just smiled and held his baby tighter.


"Well, um, he was upset. Logan had just dumped him. So he came and talked to me. Um... Like I said, he was upset. I calmed him down and he must have, I don't know, just felt down... “James was still rubbing his back.”So the next thing I knew, we were... "

"Ohhh..." James suddenly sighed.

"Yeah," Carlos admitted. He thought that maybe James understood until he felt him pull away abruptly.

"So you did it? You slept with him?"

Carlos nodded and looked down at his feet.

"That's why I can't be with you."

"Mmmm," James hummed and Carlos could literally see the wheels turning in his head. "Was it good?"

Carlos flinched and looked into the younger man's eyes. He could tell the question was filled with anger and not general curiosity.

"I'm not answering that."

James shook his head and walked to the other side of the room.

"You know, I'm not that mad at you," he admitted.

"You're not?"

"No, I'm mad at that prick who fucked you!" James pulled his hands into fists and Carlos thought he might be ready to hit something. "Okay, so you and I are broken up - that's fine. Sure you slept with him, but from the sound of it - it seems like he came onto you."

"James, no I... "

"No, I'm right," James spoke and walked for the door.

Carlos caught up to him and blocked the door with is body.

"Yes, Kendall made the first move," Carlos began, "But I wanted it. I could have said no. And... I know what you must be feeling right now. Although, as you said, we weren't together. I know there's a ‘Bro Code’ or some shit, but who cares."

"I care!" James shouted back.

"I know, but please don't say anything to Kendall. We promised to keep it to ourselves. And he wants Logan back, so please, please drop it. I don't care if you don't speak to any of us again, just leave it."

James stood still for a second, thinking.

"If I did drop this, and decided to move past it - just this one time. Would you still want to be with me?"

Carlos was silent for a second. Was James seriously considering forgiving him?

"Of course. I just didn't think you'd want anything to do with me."

"I'm still thinking it through," James admitted and sighed heavily. "We'll talk later, okay?"

Carlos nodded, "But please don't say anything to Logan or Kendall."

James simply nodded and left Carlos alone in the dressing room.

* ** *** **** *** ** *

A short time later, Kendall was also alone and thinking. He had been avoiding Logan all day. It was the only way to suppress his guilt.

Since the day was about halfway through, he thought he was home free. If Logan really wanted to talk to him, he would have by now. However, his hopes were dashed when Logan carefully opened his dressing room door.

"Hi Kendall," he spoke softly and only took a step into the room. Kendall felt bad that he was so timid about it. If anyone should feel sorry, it should be him.

"Hey Logan," Kendall replied and tried to make himself seem busy. If Logan stayed too long, he might end up telling him what happened.

"What's up?" Logan seemed to be acting purposely nonchalant.

"Logan, if you want to talk about our fight, that's fine," Kendall spoke, "But I was hoping you could give me a few days before we do."

Logan sighed and looked away from Kendall for a second.

"I guess..." he sighed and looked back at, what he sure was, the love of his life.”It's just that... I wanted to apologize, I was stupid and... "

"Please!" Kendall interrupted and walked up to Logan, "Don't apologize please. It's alright. We'll talk later okay? I just need time." Logan apologizing was bringing up so much guilt that he couldn't even stand it.

"What? Why?"

Kendall swallowed a groan and turned away from the shorter man.

"I need time to get over things and think about what happened. I promise I won't be long, but please, just leave me to myself for a while."

"Not that," Logan scoffed, "Why don't you want me to apologize? I mean, I don't want to read into things, but what the fuck is up with that?"

Closing his eyes, Kendall sat down on his couch and wished that Logan would just drop it.

"I just... it's because... well, I just think that... the fight was my fault too, you know?"


"Logan, please. Can you just do what I ask? If you love me?"

"Come on!" The older man groaned, "You're full of shit. You're acting weird! What's going on?"

The only thing Kendall could think of was to tell the truth. It would make him feel so much better, and Logan would back off; even if he was upset with him.

"Okay, I'll say it." Logan nodded for Kendall to continue. "Thing is, I kind of slept with Carlos last night."

Logan’s eyes shot open in surprise and Kendall didn't see any hurt or anger just yet.

"Did I hear you right? You say you slept with Carlos?"

Kendall nodded, "Baby, I'm so sorry. It's just that I was upset and I went to see him... It just, I don't know, happened."

Logan was silent. He just leaned against a shelf and tried to think about the situation.

"I can't believe you," Logan said quietly and it broke Kendall’s heart. He could hear the pain in his lover's voice.

"Logan, I'm sorry. But you dumped me and I did something stupid. That's why I can't allow you to apologize to me."

"So you just go and fuck the first guy you see?!"

"No, Logan. It wasn't like that!"

"It wasn't the first time, was it?"

"No! I mean... Yes. God!" Kendall was really yelling now. "I have never slept with anyone else since we've been together! Not Carlos, not anyone."

All Kendall heard was Logan continue to scoff.

"I just don't know if I can trust you anymore."

"Logan, babe..." Kendall tried to grab him before he headed for the door.

"Don't... talk to me." Logan shook his head sadly at Kendall and walked out the door.

Kendall sat back on his couch and looked around the room to find something to comfort him. This was exactly what he didn't want to happen.

* ** *** **** *** ** *

After their break, all four guys made it to the set. By the looks of it, no one was talking to each other. Kendall could see the looks in everyone eyes, so he could only assume Carlos had about as much luck keeping their secret as he had.

The director motioned them to do a scene and Kendall knew their acting skills would be coming in handy the rest of the day.

About an hour later, the boys were excused for a moment so a set of their's could be tweaked. They all headed to their chairs and sat down. Their hair and make-up stylists tried to engage them all in conversation but were noticeably alarmed when no one wanted to chat.

"What is up with you all?" One woman spoke. "You guys are acting like zombies!"

"I don't know about you," a younger woman added, "But I can feel the tension. You guys fighting?"

"It's nothing, okay," James snapped, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but we're not talking right now."

Their stylists keep silent after that. They weren't about to let the boys get upset and start acting like divas.

Logan was trying to make eye contact with James after he spoke. He could tell James was upset and was wondering if he learned about Kendall and Carlos' deed from the night before. If there was anyone here that he was remotely interested in talking to, it would be him.

After they were settled, Logan jumped out of his chair and caught James before he ran off.

"What?" James snapped again. This guy was pretty testy when he was pissed.

"I just wanted to have a word with you. In private." Logan motioned to the hallway and James nodded.

They walked alone and looked around before they began speaking.

"I can tell you're upset," Logan began, "I can only assume you talked to Carlos."

James nodded, and calmed down. If Logan found out as well, then they were on the same team. He had no ill feelings towards the older man.

"I told Carlos I'd be willing to look past it, cause I love him, and..." James got silent for a moment, "It's the thought of Kendall touching him that gets to me. I'm the only one that's supposed to touch him like that, you know?"

"Yeah," Logan agreed and stared down at the ground. He didn't really want to hate Carlos, but the thought of the Latino kissing, sucking and doing god-knows-what with his Kendall, well it made him feel sick.

"In a way, I understand," James continued and Logan tried to pay attention, "I mean, if Carlos dumped me on the spot, I'd want to find comfort somewhere. But I really don't know... unless there's some deep attraction between Carlos and Kendall that we don't know about. What do you think?"

James looked over to Logan for an answer, but he was just staring down the hallway.


"Huh?" He shook his head and brought his attention back to the brunet.

"Do you really think this was a freak situation, or do you think it was only just a matter of time?"

"I don't know," Logan answered honestly, "Should we ask?"

It was quiet for a few moments while James thought about the situation. Logan couldn't get the thought of Kendall touching someone else out of his head.

"Did you ask how it happened?" Logan wanted to know.

"Carlos told me that Kendall came onto him."

"Ugh..." Logan almost growled. "Of course he'd say that. He wouldn't tell you if it was his fault."

"Why would Carlos admit to sleeping with Kendall and then proceed to lie about how it happened? He said that Kendall initiated it, but he was just as much into it as he was!"

"Still, why couldn't Carlos have started it? What if he saw that Kendall was vulnerable and took advantage of him?!"

“Kendall’s a big boy; he doesn't have to worry about Carlos!"

"You really don't think that Carlos would go after Kendall? Why does it have to be the other way around?!"

"Because that's what Carlos told me!" James screamed as loud as he could. Why was Logan talking about Carlos like this? He expected Logan to say something back, but was surprised to hear the other man chuckling. "What?"

"Here we are, mad as hell at our boyfriends, but still defending them."

James couldn't help it, he began laughing as well. After all of this, he still loved Carlos and wanted to be with him.

"Do you think that means we forgive them?" James asked, curious about Logan's opinion.

"Maybe," Logan sighed thoughtfully, "But I just think it means we care about them, even when we're upset. I mean, I wasn't with Kendall, and you weren't with Carlos - technically."

James nodded in agreement.

"That's how I fell, but I can't help being upset."

"Of course we're going to be upset, but I'm sure that Kendall and Carlos are upset too. I really doubt they were actually thinking about the consequences of their actions. Let alone upsetting us."

"Exactly," James agreed. "I think we both should find them and have a talk. I'm sure they want to be with us as much as we want to be with them."

Nodding, Logan followed James out of the hallway.

They were called back to set as soon as they were in sight. They both noticed Carlos and Kendall talking nearby and saw them look away when they walked up. The talk would have to wait for now.

* ** *** **** *** ** *

By the end of the day, all four boys were worn out.

They all walked off set wondering what would happen. James tried to catch Logan's eye, but the shorter man walked right past him and into his dressing room. Without even looking at Carlos or Kendall, James decided to do the same. Maybe the talk could wait and no one would have to get upset tonight.

Once James was ready to leave the set, he found Logan waiting for him by his car.

"I've been thinking," he began as James got close enough. "I think I can forgive Kendall. Though I don't think I'm ready to talk to him yet."

"I know what you mean. I still think all four of us should talk though."

Logan sighed and glanced at the door, hoping that Kendall would walk out. He knew if he saw the blond, he wouldn't be able to hold back. A part of him wanted to leave and to avoid Kendall, and the rest of him really did want to see him.

As if on cue, Carlos walked into the parking lot - followed closely by Kendall. They were chatting and laughing a bit. As if they were new best friends.

James and Logan both felt the jealously boil through them.

"Hey!" James shouted from where he was standing. Logan looked up in shock; he really thought that James was going to drop it.

"James no!" He yelled, and grabbed his arm. "We have to wait!"

"I can't!" The taller man growled back at him.

"Then can you at least be more civil?"

"Fine... “James grumbled and leaned against his car next to Logan. He tried to think of some things to say, because their exes were heading their way.

"Hey guys," Kendall spoke quietly when they made it to the duo. Carlos stayed silent by his side.

"We need to talk," Logan began and looked to James for assistance. The younger man was avoiding all eye contact and staring at the ground. Logan got his attention by elbowing him in the ribs.

"Yeah!" James added and stood up straight.

Carlos giggled at his boyfriend but stopped soon after all three of his friends began to slightly glare at him.

"There's not much to talk about," Kendall pointed out. "If you guys can't forgive us, then there's not much we can do about this situation."

"What?" Logan scoffed, "You guys gonna date now if we don't want to get back together with you."

"No, no, no," Carlos laughed and draped his arm around Kendall’s shoulder. "Last night was just a one-time-thing. Absolutely nothing but sex. We're still friends - just friends."

Kendall half-smiled in agreement. He stood by what Carlos said, but he wouldn't have put it so bluntly.

"I want to forgive you so bad..." James sighed and looked into Carlos' eyes.

"Is there absolutely anything I can do?"

James shook his head and looked at Kendall.

"I really, really want to tell you to stay 100 miles from Kendall at all times, but that's kind of impossible."

Smirking, Carlos looked at Kendall and saw him shake his head.

"James, I'm so, so sorry." Kendall looked at Logan and decided that Logan could hear it too. "I came onto him. I know, I know. He could have stopped me and didn't, but had I not initiated it, we wouldn't have done it."

James nodded and looked back to Carlos, who was staring at the ground.

"Why did you do it?" He asked his former lover.

"Cause I wanted to," he answered honestly. "I'm sorry, but at the moment, I did. Not saying I don't fully regret it now. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't do it again."

"Yeah, but it's too late for that," Logan snapped and Carlos flinched. "Why?" Logan continued, directing his attention to the blond, "Why Carlos? Would you have done the same thing if you decided to go to James instead?"

"I-I honestly don't know. I just think things happen for a reason sometimes... "

They were all silent for a few moments as they each took some time to think. It was just so complicated.

"Listen guys," Kendall spoke up, feeling he had to get something off his chest. "I know this is weird, and I know the whole situation hurt people. It's just that we were broken up at the time," Kendal motioned between him and Logan, "And you two were broken up as well."

"I know," Logan agreed, "I'm not going to say it's my fault, but I still dumped you. I lost my right to get mad at you over something like this when I told you to get out of my life. I probably regret that as much as you regret sleeping with Carlos."

"Exactly!" Kendall exclaimed. He was so excited that Logan was seeing it his way.

"Wanna go back to my place and talk?" Logan asked softly and held out his hand for his - hopefully - boyfriend to take.


They walked off together and left in Logan's car. Leaving Kendall’s there. Kendall would be back for it in the morning.

Carlos and James were smiling at the couple as they walked off. When they were finally gone, they looked back at each other and were silently awkward.

"So...” Carlos began and looked back down at his shoes.

"So...” James teased and reached his hand out to Carlos' chin. He gently lifted his head until he met his brown eyes.

"Hey, I agree with them. I break up with you all the time because I decided that day I don't want a boyfriend. I treat you like shit and you always take me back. So I guess I can take you back after you've slept with someone. It's not like you weren't single."

"Thank you," Carlos smiled and ran to James for a hug. "Except you don't treat me like shit. You're just immature."

James laughed and held Carlos tighter.

"I promise I won't break up with you like that anymore. I need to respect you because you deserve it. So you don't go and sleep with Kendall again."

"As long as I'm with you, you're all I need."

They pulled apart and James looked lovingly at Carlos.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

James pulled Carlos into another hug and then pressed his lips onto his. He was never going to let Carlos get away from him again.

* ** *** **** ***** **** *** ** *

The next morning, when they all showed up for work, they met up in the hallway right outside their dressing rooms. Kendall and Logan had shown up for work together, as did the other two.

They all smiled shyly at each other. None of them ever were really that open about their time together.

"Hey guys," James spoke up and wrapped his arm around Carlos' waist.

Logan nodded politely and Kendall just grinned. They all walked into their dressing rooms to get ready for the day. All hoping that the tension would be long gone.

Later in the evening, Carlos was running some lines and having a bite to eat. He felt someone wrap their arms around his shoulders. Thinking it was James, he was about to lean in and give his boyfriend a kiss.

However, he was shocked to see that it was Kendall giving him the attention.

"Kendall, what are you doing?" He asked, trying to keep some humor in his voice.

"Just messing around," Kendall assured him.

Carlos laughed and stood up.

"I'm glad things worked out with you and Logan."

"Me too, and I'm glad I didn't ruin your chances with James."

"Thanks. It was fun at the moment though, right?"

"Yeah," Kendall replied with a dreamy expression on his face, "Hey, maybe if things go a certain way, we could be a couple."

Carlos continued to laugh.

"Sure. Why don't you talk to me about that in 15 years or so?"

"Will do."

Kendall playfully punched Carlos in the shoulder and walked back towards the set.

Maybe they would be together someday.
13th-Jul-2010 05:02 pm - 7 secrets icons
Just a fair few.

Hope you enjoy. :)

2nd-Jul-2010 09:00 am - Poor Richard
I got my favorite font, Poor Richard, downloaded to my mom's computer.

If you don't have it, download it here!

If you download it, my LJ will look prettier. :)
21st-Jun-2010 10:21 am - Backstreet Boys Concert
Okay, the concert was TOTALLY fun. Just got done uploading all my videos last night! Took forever. And my power was out the night I got home. Raining like crazy after the concert.

Here's us before the concert. Patiently waiting. LOL

Here's us after the concert (Nicole, Natalie). I had to pull my hair back because it was wet. LOL

This is the video for "I Want It That Way." This was the only one I filmed the entire song. I held the camera over my head the whole time, so it's not that great. To check out more videos head over to my BSB channel.

BSB Archive
8th-Jun-2010 10:52 am - My BTR Survey Answers
white heart
Since I can't reply to my own thread (I think.......) I'll post them here. :) I'll have my twin post her's later.

1) Who is the best actor? Carlos

2) Who is your favorite actor? Carlos

3) Who is the best comedic actor? Logan

4) Who is the best singer? Carlos

5) Who is the best dancer? Carlos

6) Who is your favorite character? Carlos

7) Who is the funniest character? James

8) Who is the most unique character? Hmmm... Can't pick. Really. They're all unique in their own ways.

9) Who is the best character, all around? Same, they're all the best. And I don't want to pick Carlos again.

10) Who is the best looking? Carlos

11) Who is the most talented, all around? Carlos

12) If one character is gay, which one is it? James

13) If one of the actors is gay, which one is it? Carlos

Short Answer - Only one answer per question please!

14) Who is your favorite female character? Kelly

15) Who is your favorite secondary male character? I don't really want to pick Gustavo, but I guess I have to. I do like Bitters for some reason though. Maybe because I watch Malcom in the Middle after BTR sometimes. Haha

16) Which character do you want off the show? I could be mean and say all the female characters, but I won't. LOL Jo REALLY gets on my nerves, but the Jennifers are so pointless it hurts.

17) What is your favorite episode? I love Terror

18) What is your favorite song? The City is Ours

19) Which (2) pairing of the guys is the 'best friends'? Kendall/Logan Carlos/James

20) If the guys split two rooms, who are the roommates? ^^Ditto

21) Which of the two guys get along the least? Carlos and Logan, it's cute though.

22) Who is your favorite couple (hetero)? Don't have one. Maybe some older characters though, but I don't give it much thought.

23) Who is your favorite couple (slash)? Kendall/Carlos

24) Who is the most slashiest couple? I'd really love to pick Logan and Carlos, but it's so much bickering (see answer to 21.) After that, I'd have to say James and Carlos. Kendall and Logan ARE up there, though.

25) What is your favorite running gag? Carlos' helmet. Hands down. But my little sister makes me love James' finger-dancing-thing. We do it ALL THE TIME!

Long answer

26) If you're reading a slash fiction, and it's about one couple. Do you prefer it when the other two are also paired up, or when they are dating other girls? Or if the other two aren't mentioned at all? Why?

We asked this cause we're really curious about it. Cause I see people do Kogan with the side Jarlos A LOT and vice versa. I'd prefer it to where they aren't mentioned, cause (unless it REALLY makes sense or REALLY calls for it) I don't like ALL of them to be gay. LOL But I don't like mentioning them with girls either.
This page was loaded Apr 26th 2018, 8:57 pm GMT.